Hot tips from the happy kinky couple!

 

As a couple, and individuals, we’ve thought and studied quite a bit about BDSM. Here are ten tips from us to help kinky people figure stuff out:

  1. Spontaneity is overrated. We set aside time to play and think about what we want to do beforehand.
  2. Labels aren’t nearly as important as what we do.
  3. The kinkiest toys might be right in the house. (spoons, clothespins, brushes, etc)
  4. Have fun! (That’s why we call it ‘play.’)
  5. Always play with safe words and prearranged signals. No means NO. Stop means STOP.
  6. If somebody won’t respect your hard limits, they don’t deserve your time.
  7. Learn about tantra, because it fits perfectly with kink.
  8. Although clothes and accessories are awesome (we love ‘em), you can do kink in your birthday suit just as easily.
  9. A couple of high quality sex toys that you love to use are better than a whole dresser full of cheap stuff.
  10. There’s a ton of fun stuff you can do all by yourself and it can be a great way to figure out what you like and don’t like.

 

As if that weren’t enough, here are ten more of our tips for you!

  1. Most of the tests people take to figure out what to call themselves – they’re created by some guy sitting in his basement.
  2. Never sacrifice your basic privacy and security in pursuit of a good time.
  3. There is no substitute for actually doing something. Always play with a clear idea of safe practices to follow.
  4. Cultural norms about how men and women are supposed to act were made up by dudes sitting in church pews two or three hundred years ago. Be who you are, not what others try and force you to be.
  5. Dan Savage said it best: “Be good in bed; Giving equal time and equal pleasure; Be game to try – within reason.”
  6. Consent is an ongoing process.
  7. The sexiest thing on the planet is right between our ears.
  8. Take your time and savor each experience. You can afford to be choosy.
  9. Being a switch is fantastic because you get to experience both sides. It also helps as you come into your own dominant nature. Knowing what something feels like on the receiving end is a huge deal.
  10. Never stop learning.

 

xoxoxoxo
the hkc
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The National Association for the Advancement of Science & Art in Sexuality

 

 

 

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