Not too long ago, any discussion of sex toys was likely to include the word “perverted.” Of course, in an era just slightly before that, all nudity was considered pornographic. Welcome to the new milennium, where nudity is regularly seen on television! Unfortunately, sex toys are still somewhat uncomfortable to discuss for many of us.
After reaching a place of monotony in our intimate life, we were looking for a spark that neither one of us seemed to be able to create with our mere mortal bodies. We needed something new, stimulating, crazy and sensuous to get the juices flowing again. Toys? Tools? Why not!
If your idea of a vibrator is a hard plastic bullet with no sex appeal, think again. Go ahead, take a deep breath and ask your partner to go toy shopping with you. Yes, the first few minutes might be awkward, but trust us the results will be worth it! If you live somewhere without an adult store, or simply don’t like the idea of shopping for these items in public, then the internet is a great place to start. Yes, we buy our toys on Amazon when we can’t find them locally.
Once you get a little more comfortable with the idea of a pleasure tool, visit a brick-and-mortar store if you have one. Even in our town of 150,000 there are several options, including a big box adult store and a personal pleasure shop. The advantage of the small shop is a great sales staff that is knowledgeable about human sexuality and biology. They are also sex-positive, which is the modern way of saying that they support the pursuit of pleasure as a natural human function, and can help with ideas for ways to enjoy safe, satisfying and experimental sexuality without judgement.
I’ve personally never felt entirely at ease in the big box stores, mostly because I do feel judged by that gum-chewing twenty-something gal. I just know she is seeing her Mom in me, and I am NOT cool!
The real advantage to shopping brick-and-mortar is that there are testers for many toys. Some are slow and fast, some have pulse settings and remote controls. No, you can’t test them down there, but the tip of your finger has a similar number of nerve endings. Think of it as a walk down the power tool aisle, or the kitchen gadget section at one of those other big boxes (which also happen to be great locations to find creative “pervertables”).
Your first vibrator
Today’s vibrators are available in colors, textures, sizes, materials and forms to suit every body and body part. There are corded and rechargeable options. If you are shopping with a partner, start with something stimulating that you can easily share to create a buzz on a variety of erogenous spots. Some are tickly, and some are serious fun. If you are new and venturing out alone with plans to share the fun, start small until you have a chance to get some feedback. Some toys are more expensive because of the quality of the material or motor, or the battery/recharge components. These are definitely worth it once you know that vibration is becoming part of your regular routine, but don’t feel pressure to get the fancy one right away. As we like to say in our workshop, it’s okay to start small!
Once you are ready to make your purchase, remember to pick up some lube. If the sensation you got from the test drive was awesome, imagine it with some slippery enhancement. Think about gliding that little machine up a thigh or across a nipple. Yummy!
Time for a safety warning (two actually)
- Different types of lubes can react with different materials. Silicone lube shold not be used with silicone toys. Visit Lubezilla to learn about the best choices and also for tips on keeping your toys clean.
- Speaking of clean, if you are exploring anal joy, DO NOT mix your butt buddies with your other toys. We keep ours in a separate drawer in their own little shoebox. Condoms can offer protection when sharing toys, more detail can be found in the lube link above.
But wait, there’s more!
I know this only covers vibrators, right? What about cock rings and e-stim and ball gags? Next time, and in the meantime, enjoy the buzz!
Our gal half